New pictures of Benjamin and Ella on flickr.
I mentioned this book quite some time ago, and I finally got around to reading it. The book is about a Big Brother type reality show and a murder happens during the course of filming.
It was a fun book to read. It kept me guessing until the end of who the murderer was. I kept going back and forth among all the possibilities, and in the end, none of my guesses were right. In hindsight, I should have guessed who it was. See spoilers below if you want.
The producer and editor of the show - of course! A murder happens and more people will want to watch it and thus, they get more money. I really should have guessed. That's quite the motive. I thought for a long time it was the cameraman.
Last week, I finished reading this book but I just haven't had an opportunity to write about my thoughts on the last half of the book. Below are some issues she brought up in the book or just some topics that I wanted to write about:
* She talks about whether there should be an age limit on who can go through infertility treatments. Part of me says yes - it just seems so wrong and selfish for a woman in her 50s or 60s having a baby. That just seems so old for me. The same goes for a man too!!! However, I don't want to deny someone the chance to be a parent. It's hard to draw the line somewhere. How old it too old? It seems, based on the author, that a lot of clinics are basing their limit on the average age of when menopause begins. Is that the right age? Is that even too old? I just don't know. I can't imagine being in my 50s and having a child. It was hard enough at 33!
* And how many embryos should be transferred? It seems that number depends not only on what the patient wants but also on how old the patient is. The older, the more embryos. The thinking is that not as many will implant in an older woman. I think a lot of couples chose to transfer more embryos simply because it it fails, they don't have the money to do another cycle. So they take their chances on multiples and that can sometimes lead to early deliveries and NICU stays (thankfully, no NICU stays for me but they did come early and I was in the hospital for 5 weeks beforehand). I do wonder if the number of multiple births would go down at all if people didn't have to worry about the cost of IVF and the drugs, and they were able to do it multiple times until they achieved pregnancy and a live birth. Would I have done it differently? I don't know - it's hard for me to say knowing the outcome and how I have the 2 most wonderful babies in the world! I couldn't imagine my life any other way right now. I love Benjamin & Ella so much and I love seeing them play with each other. Havings twins may be hard, but it is so much fun too.
* The author says that her views toward abortion changed. She's still pro-choice, but she can see how someone can be pro-life, especially after seeing her children at the blastocyst stage. I can relate. While I'm all for women having a choice on what to do with their own bodies, all I can imagine is that these cells could develop into children. I underline could because not always do these cells develop into a viable embryo. The author, with her first pregnancy, had a daughter. That IVF cycle, they transferred 3 embryos. I want to write more, but I'm having trouble putting my feelings into words that will come across right, so I'll just end it at that.
* She also mentions what to do with her frozen embryos and the ethical questions that come along with that. Do you donate them to another couple? Do you donate them to science? Do you discard them? Or do you use them and see if you get pregnant? We didn't have any embryos to freeze. Only 2 made it and they turned into Benjamin and Ella. However, I wonder what we have done if we did have embryos to freeze. I would think we would try to get pregnant a couple years down the road, but after that, if there were still any? I think we said we would donate to science but I also wanted to donate to a couple who wanted to become parents. I think we marked both in two different scenarios (though I can't remember what those scenarios are) on the questionnaire we were required to fill out pre-IVF, but now that I think about it...it would be great to help a couple have children (should the FET work), but how weird would it be for someone else to be raising my biological child? It just makes me sad and uncomfortable because I would want to raise that child. But donating to science - I don't know - it seems like a noble thing to do as well, but again, like with abortion, I just feel extra sensitive to the fact those embryos could turn into children. There is no way I could just discard them - that isn't even an option. I am very glad that we didn't have to go down that path and make a firm decision for sure...though it would have been nice to have frozen embryos to try to do a FET with.
I had more to say, but I can't remember what it was, and this is probably enough anyway. Unfortunately, I had to return the book so I don't have it to look at to jog my memory.
Anyway, the book overall was a good one. She explored the ethical side of doing IVF and the emotional side to it as well. There were times that I thought it was going off on a tangent, but she brought it back rather well. I would recommend this book to anyone going through infertility treatments (particularly IVF) or wanting to learn more about it.
Today marks this blog's 4 year anniversary. I can't believe I've had a blog for that long. So much has changed in the last 4 years for me - most notably, the birth of Benjamin and Ella.
I've added even more photos today that the daycare sent me - including 3 from today (that would be the first 3 on there). There are also some on there showing Ella stealing a book from Benjamin.
If you'd like to see pics of Benjamin & Ella - I've added some recent ones to flickr that the daycare took as well as a few that Shannon (Jon's friend from college) took at her party we went to. You might notice that most of the time, they are wearing their sleepers to the daycare. If they are wearing something besides a sleeper, it would be me who dressed him/her. I will dress them if I have time in the morning before my ride shows up or I have to go catch the bus. Jon takes them to daycare in the morning and doesn't like to have them in something besides a sleeper.
Someday, I'll get around to uploading the ones that we took.
I watched Tuesday's The Colbert Report last night and saw that the author (Malcolm Gladwell) that wrote one of the books I mentioned yesterday was on - a video of that part of the show can be found here.
While I was getting caught up on some blogs I subscribe to, I saw that Jennifer Weiner wrote a sequel to Good in Bed - the sequel is called certain girls. I liked Good in Bed so I definitely want to read this book.
A few other books that I'd like to read are:
The Senator's Wife by Sue Miller (Jennifer Weiner says on her blog not to read this book if you are a new mother - that just intrigues me more and I have to find out why)
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards (currently am borrowing from the library) (several twin moms recommended this book so hopefully, I can get around to reading it before it's due back at the library)
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. The UW School of Psychology is putting on a lecture about the subject of this book in March. I've signed up to go. Hopefully, I can make it to this one unlike the other psych. lecture I signed up for last year but didn't go b/c pregnancy was making me tired.
And a bunch of others - some of which are listed on my goodreads page.
This past weekend was both busy and relaxing. My mother-in-law was over at our house starting Thursday night so she could watch Ben & Ella for us on Friday. Both of them had pink eye and Jon had to go into work and so did I, so Jon went to get his mom on Thursday night.
It is so nice when Ben & Ella are at home and I don't have to get them at daycare. If only that could happen everyday.
Saturday morning, I had the privilege of taking Sophie to the vet for her annual exam. Sophie is now at 15.3 pounds!!! Holy cow! The vet said that she's not too concerned as Sophie has a big frame (see, the vet said it again), but she wants us to mix their regular Science Diet dry food with a Light one. If we just had Sophie, she'd say just use the light one, but with Oliver there, she said it's o.k. to mix it. Oliver, at his last checkup, was at 10.7 pounds.
After that, I took Sophie home and hung out at home for a bit before going over to a friend's house to deliver some boy and girl baby clothes to her and some soy formula we weren't using. She's a friend from my infertilty support group who also has boy/girl twins. Her twins are 3 months old now. Her babies are so tiny or maybe they just seem that way since my babies are so much bigger (especially Benjamin)! After spending some time with her, I headed over to Cost*co (what a bad idea that was to go on a Saturday afternoon - my happy mood turned sour from that experience. I wouldn't have gone that day but I needed to).
I get home to Jon telling me that we had a dinner reservation at Serafina. Yep, we were finally using a gift cert that one of his coworkers gave to him for helping her move in October 2006. It was good food - I had flank steak and the waiter gave me a hard time for wanting it well done. I can't help it if I just don't want to be reminded I'm eating an animal and that's what it feels like should I order it with the cow still mooing at me. I noticed that the executive chef brought everyone's food orders out, but ours. Whatever.
Saturday was a busy day and I wished I could have been at home more. I missed my babies! I hardly got to see them that day. They were in bed by the time we got back from dinner and that made me sad as I wanted to at least say good night to them. :-(
Sunday was a lounge about day. We watched the two football games. How surprised I was that Green Bay didn't win. I thought for sure it would be a Packers v. Patriots Super Bowl. I'm rooting for the Patriots in the Super Bowl as it would be cool to have a 19-0 team - on the other hand, how cool it would be for the Giants to be the one to beat the Patriots. Not as cool as the Seahawks doing it, but whatever.
Monday morning, I went to InSpa to use my other gift card there for a 90 minute massage. The massage was wonderful (though it did hurt sometimes). The person doing it said my back was super tight (I explained the reason why being lifting two 7 month old babies every day) and could benefit from more massages, but as it's expensive, she knows that's not a real possibility. She told me to try tennis balls in a tube sock and sit up against a wall to have the balls roll along my back. I'll need to give that a try. However, I'm thinking of going back to my acupunturist who does little massages after each acupuncture session. Thankfully, my insurance will cover so many of those per year. I haven't seen my acupuncturist in over a year now. It will be good to see her again.
After my massage, I headed back home and played with Ben & Ella and tried to get some things done that desperately needed to get done - balancing checkbook, etc. I could use another day off or several really.
That's about it. I just finished book #3, so a review of that book will be coming shortly.
Just a quick note about my torture session the other day...
A dental assistant said to me as I had a dental dam in my mouth ready to have my mouth drilled by the dentist, "I'm so jealous - you get to lay down underneath your blanket." It was freezing in the dentist's office, so that's why I had the blanket. Then later, the hygienist says that laying down must be a treat for me.
Yes, I'd be jealous of me too if I were in you. Getting my mouth drilled on after my cleaning and getting new fillings for my teeth. I'm having such a lovely time. I'd MUCH rather be at home by myself with 2 screaming babies than to be at the dentist's for 3 hours. Hey, I got to do that for a bit last night and the night before! My poor babies are getting over a mild case of pink eye. They didn't go to daycare today or yesterday and thank goodness for the long weekend so they have more time to get better. They seem o.k. now though.
(Jon watched them yesterday (as he has sick time he can use to be with Ben & Ella) and today, Jon's mom is watching them for a few hours today. Apparently, things are going well as I have not heard from her today.
The book I'm reading now, Embryo Culture, has been an interesting book so far. The author is writing about her experience with fertility treatments, mainly IVF. A lot of what she writes about, I can certainly relate to. The feelings of hope and despair - the feelings that my body was failing me in something that was so natural.
I had also wondered if IVF was the right way to go - what does (insert one's religion) feel about IVF? I'm certainly not a very religious person though I do believe in God. Before we went through IVF, I did think about, though briefly, whether I was going against some plan for my life, but then, I thought, perhaps this is part of the plan for my life, if one even existed.
One part of the book that was just awful to read was when she talked about what goes on in China with pregnancies of female fetuses. I just wasn't expecting to read about it and it was just hard to read. And this was toward the beginning of the book. She talked about this in reference to clinics using PGD or PGS. Of those I know who used PGS, they used it in order to find out what could be causing them to not get pregnant or to miscarry or to make it so they actually did get pregnant - not to find out what the sex of the child is. And those in China could (or are) using this technology to make it so a couple doesn't get pregnant with a female child. In this way, at least, maybe so many female fetuses won't be aborted or left on a hillside somewhere after birth in hopes someone finds the child. It's sad though that female children aren't as prized as male children in several countries.
Anyway, that's my thoughts for right now on this book. Only about 140 pages to go - hopefully, I'll finish by Monday in order to keep pace with a book a week.
Just some tidbits from our weekend...
Thursday night, Jon's mom and Tanya's grandmother came to visit us as Tanya's grandfather was in the hospital for surgery. They stayed with us until Saturday afternoon. It seems the surgery went well, so that's good.
Saturday morning, we gave the babies a new food to try - sweet potatoes. They seemed to like it o.k. I guess next week, they are going to get squash though I wanted to try applesauce. As soon as I can, I'll post new pics of them eating their solids!
Saturday afternoon, we went to a party that Shannon, a friend of Jon's from college, was having to watch the Chili Bowl. The babies were very well-behaved, as usual. We left around 7 or so as it was getting close to their bedtime and Benjamin was heading down the road to cranky-ville. Ella is all about the party most of the time, but as Kelly shows on her flickr site, she does fall asleep at parties. I had never seen this type of racing before - not something I'm really interested so that's probably why.
Sunday, we hung out and watched the two football games on that day and we also went on a walk since it was so nice out. Later on, I watched The Amazing Race and all I have to say, thank goodness that Nate and Jen are gone. They were so annoying. I used to not like Ron and Christina b/c Ron has been so condescending, but he's gotten better. I think I'm rooting for TK and Rachel though.
Yesterday, Ella also said some new words - not sure what she was saying - but both Jon and I noticed! She also got to go to the store with her papa and I'm sure she just loved that. So many things to look at!
This morning, I was helping get the babies ready for daycare and my ride showed up, so I had to put Ella down (Jon was getting Benjamin ready). She did not like that at all. She wanted to be held and she was hungry. She gave me the saddest look with tears coming down. It was SO HARD to leave her like that. :-(
That reminds me. Over the weekend, Jon's mom was holding Benjamin and I was holding Ella. Benjamin looked over at me and started fussing and leaning toward me - he wanted me to hold him. Once we were able to make the switch, Benjamin was a happy little guy. That just made my heart melt!
Book #2 has been read - it was Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich. I like reading Janet Evanovich books - they are a bunch of fluff and sometimes you just need fluff. I'm looking forward to book #14 coming out this summer!
I have a question for those of you who have read the Stephanie Plum series - see below. The question really isn't a spoiler, but the answer will be.
Has Ranger & Stephanie ever slept together? I'm having trouble remembering if that occurred in the previous books.
I finished book #1 of 2008 yesterday. That book was A Year Without Made in China by Sara Bongiorni.
It was a good book and a fast read (once I got the time to read it), but I guess it just left me feeling like there was something missing in the book. The author writes about why she did the boycott for a year and how hard it was to go without Chinese made products (and now it's got me looking at labels to find out where things are made - so far quite a few Chinese made products), but I guess what it lacked (for me anyway) was on a take on globalization. There are other books for that, I guess, so I'll read those and I won't fault this book for that. It was interesting to read the troubles the author had getting non-Chinese made products. I'll give this book neither a thumbs up or a thumbs down - I'm right in the middle.
Taken from bitterkat's blog that was taken from Average Jane's Blog.
I like doing these sort of things...I think I might have done one before actually.
Directions:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Weapon of Choice (Fatboy Slim)
2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
When the Music's Not Forgotten (Deadman)
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Big Eyed Fish (Dave Matthews Band)
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I Know (Jude)
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Too Much (Dave Matthews Band) - that one's kinda funny
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Granny (Live) (Dave Matthews Band) - wow, DMB showing up quite a bit so far
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Toy Store (O.A.R.)
8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Insensitive (Jann Arden) - I hope not!
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I Believe (Chris Isaak)
10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Surfin' USA (The Beach Boys)
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR EX?
Bad Day (Fuel)
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I'm Like a Lawyer With the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) (Fall Out Boy)
13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Ain't Got So Far to Go (David Byrne)
14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Saints (The Breeders)
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
History Repeating (The Propellerheads)
16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
California Girls (The Beach Boys)
17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Purple Haze (Jimi Hendrix)
18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Consider This (Anna Nalick)
19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Like Suicide (Soundgarden)
20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Whenever You Remember (Carrie Underwood)
Now press Next one more time and use it as your title.
Wow - this person really thinks highly of herself to have a wedding cake modeled after herself. I wonder if I should share this idea with a coworker of mine who became engaged on New Year's Eve?
Yesterday, after doing some shopping (for diapers and other not fun things) and dropping books off at the library that I will not get to before they are due, I stopped to get some fast food for lunch for Jon and myself. We desperately needed some food from the grocery store, but we both wanted something quick so I got something on my way home.
The guy running the drive-thru saw that I had diapers in the backseat so the following conversation happened...
Drive-thru guy: That's a lot of diapers. (It was the Costco size box).
Me: I have twins, so we go through those diapers quickly.
Drive-thru guy: My wife is pregnant right now. I was hoping for twins, but there is definitely just one in there. We don't know the sex of the child yet.
Me: Congratulations! Twins are a lot of work though!
Drive-thru guy: You must be tired.
Me: Yes, that's what the Coke is for.
Drive-thru guy laughs, then goes away to go get the food. He comes back with two bags - I was thinking it was for the car behind me, but then he says...
Drive-thru guy: Here's your food and in this bag is some dessert on the house as I'm sure you guys need it.
Me: Thanks! That is really nice of you!
It was two cheesecakes. :-D It was very nice of him.
Just to be clear, it just sounded like Benjamin said "Mommy", not that he said it. I just have this feeling that people think I'm crazy.
I do think he might be the first to say an actual word.
Anyway, I ordered my phone. What I thought would have cost me $79 to get was actually free for me, so yay!!! I got this one. Chocolate in Black Cherry - yum!
I was going through my old e-mails on hotmail to try to move all the e-mails I want to keep over to gmail, and I came across an e-mail that Jon had sent to me on 06/15/06. This was before we had even done the IVF cycle that would lead us to having twins.
Jon said to me, after I was talking about my coworker having her third child, that we'll have children someday, then he says...
"what if we have twins...the girl will be like 'it's time to go, we don't want to be late" and the boy will be like "uh...lemme do something first, then I'll start the process to get ready'......funny if they have different b-days."
It's funny because Ella is very interested in getting going on doing stuff - she wants to crawl already - in fact, even better, walking! Benjamin is so laid back but he seems to be our talker.
Benjamin totally just said Mommy - he was in the exercauser looking up at me crying as he said it. Jon heard it too. There have been a few times that it sounded like he said "MOOOOOMMMMMM", but this time it sounded like "Mooommmmyyyy" :-D
I'm calling this book # maybe 52 as I started it in 2007, but finished it in 2008, so if I need it to be my 52nd book, it will be. :-D
I finished reading Pandora's Baby by Robin Marantz Henig.
It was an interesting book into the history of how IVF became a treatment to help infertility patients have children. It's amazing how far science has come in just the 3 decades since the first IVF child was born in 1978. It's amazing how much it took to get to that point. There was a lot of opposition to IVF, and still is, from those claiming REs are playing God or those claiming, at least back in the 70s, that it would lead to deformed children. How lucky it was doctors figured out how to make this work.
Reading the book made me feel lucky that I am living at a time that IVF would be available to me. Otherwise, I would have had to try surgery to unblock my tubes (though my doctors didn't seem confident that would work), and it would have cost a lot more money and caused a lot more pain, I think, at least physically. While reading the book, it did make me think of the other embryos that we had. I had 10 eggs retrieved, but only 7 fertilized. Of those 7, only 2 made it to blastocyst (and eventually into my 2 babies). I sometimes wonder about those other 5 and am sad that they didn't make it. While at the same time, relieved that I don't have that decision to make on what we want to do with any frozen embryos.
The book also talked about health problems that some IVF children have...a lot due to multiple births because they have a higher chance of being born premature. The book said something about US clinics transferring (o.k. she used the word implant which irritates me) more than 2 embryos to boost the chances of the cycle working so their numbers look better. I don't think the clinic I went to will do more than 2 except in certain circumstances.
The book also talked about cloning and the controversy surrounding that being similar to what took place with IVF (though there are differences).
Overall, it was an interesting book even though it did go off on tangents I didn't think were necessary. I have another book from the library about IVF called Embryo Culture that I plan to read at some point.
Unlike some others, 2007 was a great year for me. I spent the first 5 1/2 months pregnant with my wonderful twins - though the last 5 weeks of that pregnancy were in the hospital, but that's o.k., it made it so my babies stayed put for 5 more weeks than they might have otherwise.
A little after midnight on June 12, 2007, Ella Riley and Benjamin Harris were born. On June 15, 2007, we were able to take our babies home. I got to see my kitties again for the first time in a little over 5 weeks. It was also the first time I had been in a car in a little over 5 weeks - it was a bit of a weird experience. The first time I drove felt weird too.
Since then, I have been extremely sleep deprived, but I have two wonderful children. It still catches my breath and makes me take a pause when I refer to Benjamin as my *son* and Ella has my *daughter*. I have a son and a daughter? They are nearly 7 months old and it still amazes me.
I do wish sometimes that I could get the sleep that I need (notice I said need and not want), but it's all worth it. I would do it all over again.
Other than the birth of my children, this year, I celebrated my 9th wedding anniversary with Jon. I turned 34. I met some new people with our childbirth classes. And most of my infertility support group has had children of their own. The first birthday of one of the children was in December. The rest of the children were born in 2007. In my support group, there are 4 sets of twins and 3 singeleton babies. It's been a great year for that group. I look forward to watching all of these children grow!
As for resolutions, I don't really have any other than to try to read as many books as I can this year. I didn't read a lot last year (and you'd think with all that hospital time, I would have read a lot), but I plan to this year. I found when I read my first book after a long while, I missed reading!
As I write this, my sister-in-law is in labor giving birth to her first child. I'm so excited to learn the name of our new nephew! She was being induced on Monday - nothing was happening - so they broke her water today and she's now on her way to having a baby boy! Please send some good thoughts her way as they said the baby's kidneys weren't functioning properly which is why they induced (and the fact she was due on the 30th).
This new addition to our family will make it so Jon and I have 4 nephews and 3 nieces.
Happy New Year to everyone! May 2008 be a wonderful year for everyone!