It’s a nice Justin Timberlake song. Incase you wanted my opinion.
I think we started the day on a funny note...at 6 AM they were having a grunting contest. They were each taking turns, going for the loudest & longest grunt. Nope, no messy diapers. Just grunting!!
Today, my better half had a tough day. The childrens decided to exercise their first amendment rights to protest. And they did by screaming. Too bad we don’t know what they were protesting.
So, when I got home, me, Unter & Uber went for a walk to a local park. On the way there it was a bit bouncy, poor little Unter was getting jostled a bit since she was in the front. Uber had the more stable back seat, and he’s heavier, so it takes more to jostle him around. When we got to the park it was smooth riding. Until silly papa stopped the stroller to talk to someone (who told him twins is more difficult than ten children, her mom told her), but all was good when papa was rollin’ again.
They slept for most of the ride. Pro’lly ‘cuz they were all tuckered out from protesting all day.
But, on way home, going down the hill, little Unter seemed to have lots of fun. It was like a roller coaster! She’s just like her mommy.
They have different crying styles, my little girl goes for power, does the high pitch screach, and sometimes, it makes the eardrums reverberate. Very powerful.
My son, will sometimes go for distance, will scream until he’s red in the face. It used to seem that he would forget to inhale, but know, he just knows how to exhale for a long time.
So, my daughter has learned a new cry. Three short loud screams.
They cry when they need a diaper change. Which is good, helps keep their little butts clean.
They cry when hungry. Our girl will usually give us warning signs. She’ll fuss for 20 secons. Then root around for food for 15 more seconds. Then a low cry for 5 seconds, then the full on scream.
They cry when they want to be held and walked around. Or sometimes waltzed around. One good thing, I’m getting more opportunities to sing. So hopefully my vocal chops are improving. Still I’m not very good at making up lyrics. And I don’t know if Concrete Blonde songs are age appropriate.
It started off as a wonderful Saturday afternoon; I was taking a little a nice nap with Unter & Uber. Then suddenly, we were woken from our slumber by banging on the front door. I was not happy, rushed to the door and opened to find my niece (K), my nephew (D), and brother-in-law (R) were the culprits of pounding, laughing away. “Babies sleeping!” I hissed, “What are you thinking?!” They turned sullen.
Some things from their visit….
I learned from K that reading out loud helps you remember. She got that from her teacher. It makes sense, and I never really thought of it. It just is a different pathway for information to get into your brain, when you read, it is just visual. When you read out loud, it is visual, and auditory, ( and maybe even a bit of muscle learning from the mouth, too.) So, when thing calm down at the home front, and I eventually go back to school to get that silly little degree that shows that I know how to jump through hoops, then I will have to remember to read my notes out loud. Ke always seems so happy to teach her uncle something. A summer ago she taught me about the cycles of the moon (waxing, wanning)…seriously, it made sense. (When it comes to science, I am Earth-centric…there’s enough stuff down here to learn.)
I’ve started reading science magazines to Unter & Uber. Hey, it helps me remember, and reading is good for the childrens. I do not have a career path picked out for them. I hope they are lucky enough to find a niche they enjoy and are happy with. I do want them to be science & math & music literate.
Me, K & D talked about why we need to eat fiber. (So we can poop.) Then we asked, why don’t Unter & Uber need fiber in their diet? Seriously, anyone? I can tell you, they are not constipated.
I already told you about K & D helping out with the yard work. J
I felt bad for not taking proper care of K, I think she got a bit of heat-sickness/fever. When I finally figured out that she wasn’t feeling well I kicked her out of the hot house to the cooler back deck (it was shaded) and forced her to drink cold water. Since she hadn’t eaten lunch or dinner, I went to the store to buy grapes & watermelon, her favorite fruits, so she would be ingesting food that was very moist. Sorry K I didn’t take better care of you. There’s a lot of stuff going on in my life right now.
As young people do…we started talking about super-heroes. And naturally what type of super powers you would like to have. We limited it to only five powers!
K: shoot throwing stars out of hands, fly, summon dragons, take any shape
D: lasers from eyes, shoot fireballs from hands, catch anything he was holding on fire, summon lava-men
I told them that I had the best power, the power to shoot cotton candy from my hands. I would be Cotton Candy Man. I could defeat both of them.
Against K, it would be simple, I would cover her with cotton candy so she couldn’t see or fly. And then when the dragon showed up that she summoned, the dragon would see the big pile of cotton candy (with K inside) and eat it up (with K inside).
Against D a bit tougher, no direct attack. However, a boy cannot resist cotton candy, so I would make a big pile and he would have to eat the yumminess all up, until he was very sick to his stomach. “But what about the lava-men?” K asked, hoping someone could defeat Cotton Candy Man. Simple. I would sculpt out of cotton candy beautiful Lava-women, and the Lava-men would fall in love. However, when they touched them, the cotton candy would burn up, and the Lava-men would be sad. So sad, that they would cry, and their tears would cause their lava to cool down, and solidify, and they would turn to stone.
D was not to let Cotton Candy Man escape. “I know Uber’s power,” he said, looking at my peacefully sleeping son. “He’s the Super-Sleeper,” D continued, “and when he breathes out his nose, everybody that is around him fall asleep. That would beat Cotton Candy Man.”
Dear Uber, soon you will be circumcised. Later in life you may wonder why we did this for you. I hope this will prove to be explanation, and also show that we did put some bit of thought into this.
Now, first of all, my son, you may wonder why this is being posted to the best web-site for sports-fans in the whole galaxy. Well, your mother let it be known that we are going to do this, and it elicited some emotional responses. (Yes, your mother is a bit more open about stuff like this. You could even say she is brave. I never would have told people about the problems we were having with infertility, but that is important for people to know since it raises awareness.) Who would have guessed that people would have such strong feelings when it comes to a boy’s penis? So, this will hopefully be an explanation to others that we didn’t enter into this lightly. Also, there is a better chance of me finding this later, since it will be written in pixels, as opposed to on a piece of paper amongst your father’s notes. Or worse, relying on my memory.
Why?
Tradition. I suppose that might be good enough of a reason if we were Jewish, or some other faith. And, truth be told, it was my first reaction when asked if we would. Why wouldn’t I want my boy to “look like me”? There is a bit of comfort in the familiar. But I investigated if there were better reasons. (And no, I did not seek the opinion of Penn & Teller. For medical affairs I will trust the World Health Organization above a couple of excellent magician/comedians.)
But doesn’t blind tradition allow female-circumcision. Yes. I suppose it does. But, unlike the tribal circumcised females, males can still enjoy sex later in life, and since it is done in a sterile environment, the risks are tiny.
Basically we went with an analysis of risks versus benefits.
What are the risks??
Death: less than one in half-a-million (7). A car ride to grandmas is more dangerous.
Later will be angry that it was done to him. I don’t think it is prudent to base child rearing decisions on the possibility that the child may have a neurosis later in life. Who can predict what the child will be bitter about? And I suspect for most circumcised males, you will grow up with it, and not even be aware that it was an issue until your son is born.
Mutilation. Something could go wrong. What if the doctor makes a mistake? Now that is something to worry about. But, the same could be applied to any medical procedure. What if the dentist slips and that metal scraper thing gets gouged in the back of the throat. What if the pharmacist gives us the wrong medicine? What if the doctor improperly sets a broken bone? What if the doctor, when looking into the child’s eye, accidentally uses a laser pointer instead of the flashlight? What if they have an allergic reaction to a vaccination? Forbidding a procedure because of possible mistakes or complications, we would have to forbid all medical procedure.
Less sexual pleasure. I don’t even know how they quantify this. Do they hook up groups of men, half-circumcised, half not, to an Orgasmeter, submit all of them to the exact same sexual experience, and compare the results? Masters & Johnson reported, “the circumcised glans is no less sensitive” (7). Son, TMI warning, but speaking from personal experience of a circumcised male, masturbation and sex are enjoyable.
Most likely, you will cry, you will be sore, and you will bleed. You will be feeling your normal self in about a week. Statistically speaking, that’s it.
Even if the benefits are correct (see below) won’t it encourage risky behavior? This argument frustrates me. It has been raised recently with HPV vaccination. We have a way to prevent 70% of cervical cancer cases and 90% of genital warts (8), but some people are worried that it is sending the wrong message to kids. The message I want to send my children is “I love you, and I want to protect you.” And I don’t believe that seatbelts encourage teens to drive dangerously, or that condoms give kids the desire to have sex, or that the tetanus vaccine encourages children to step on rusty nails.
And the final…wait until he is old enough to decide for himself . “When the message is aimed at the uninfected, often young and eager for sexual experience, it is a very hard sell indeed. Those aged between 15 and 24 years are at the centre of the AIDS pandemic.” (2) We want to protect him before he is old enough to get into trouble. And as side note, more than 80% of men in AIDS ravaged Botswana would like to be circumcised if it were safe and sterile (1).
We parents make decisions for our children, for their benefit, before they are old enough to make a wise choice. We send them to school (they could get shot by a disgruntled teenager, or sexually molested by a teacher). We give them dental and orthodontia care (pain and bleeding), swim lessons (drowning), and piano lessons (risk of carpel tunnel syndrome, or turning out like Elton John). We vaccinate them, even against diseases that are fairly rare in modern day American society.
Some risks for various vaccinations (6)…
Measles vaccine: transient rash, anaphylaxis, and thrombocytopenia
Hepatitis B vaccine: pain, elevated temperature, and anaphylaxis
Diphtheria and tetanus vaccines: swelling, tenderness, and anaphylaxis
Acellular pertussis vaccine: convulsions or shock
Measles vaccine: elevated temperature, transient rashes, anaphylaxis, and thrombocytopenia
Rubella vaccine: acute arthritis
What are the benefits?
The first benefit of circumcision now, as opposed to later, is that the protections can be in place far before they are necessary.
The main rational for male circumcision these days is as a way to combat the AIDS epidemic. I think I first heard about this in the Economist (2). In Africa it was noticed “circumcised men have lower levels of HIV infection than uncircumcised men” (1). “[Male circumcision] could lead to substantial reductions in HIV transmission and prevalence over time among both men and women.” (3)
How can this be? It is believed “that the foreskin increases risk of HIV infection due to the high density of HIV target cells and lack of keratinization of the inner mucosal surface.” (4) TC Quin of Johns Hopkins’s School of Medicine, Division of Infectious Disease wrote this year: “Biological studies also demonstrate an increased number of HIV receptor cells in the mucosa of foreskin providing additional evidence of HIV susceptibility in the uncircumcised male.” (5)
Other medical benefits?
It reduces the risk of syphilis and chancroid (4).
It appears to provide some protection against the rare penile cancer (7).
Lowers transmission of STD to your future partner (5).
Less chance of urinary tract infection (7).
Because we believe it to be medically beneficial, we have decided to continue the custom.
And when your sister Unter is old enough, we will take her to for HPV vaccination. Even though there is risk with it, because once again, the potential benefits out weigh the risks.
My sources:
(1) “Male Circumcision: Weighing the Pros and Cons” World Health Organization, (2006)
www.who.int/hiv/mediacentre/AFRO-prevention_fs.pdf
(2) “Stand and Deliver” the Economist, August 17th 2006
(3)Nagelkerke NJD, Bailey RC, et al “Modelling the public health impact of male circumcision for HIV prevention in high prevalence areas in Africa” BMC Infectious Diseases, (2007), 7:16
(4)Weiss HA, “Male circumcision as a preventive measure against HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.” Current Opinion in Infectious Diseases 20 (1): 66-72, FEB 2007
(5)Quinn TC, “Circumcision and HIV transmission” Current Opinion in Infectious Diseases, 20 (1): 33-38
(6) a handout from our pediatrician
(7) Benatar M, Benatar D “Between Prophylaxis and Child Abuse: the ethics of neonatal male circumcision” The American Journal of Bioethics 3.2 (2003) pp 35 – 48. This reading I recommend for anyone who is undecided, or who would like to see both sides of the issue examined in a calm rational manner. It is written by a Harvard neurologist and a University of Cape Town philosopher. They weigh out both the pros and cons and state, “We argue against both of these [extreme] views….We conclude that nontherapeutic circumcision of infant boys is a suitable matter for parental discretion.”
(8) CDC “HPV Vaccine Questions and Answers” (2006)
http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/STDFact-HPV-vaccine.htm
In an effort to help save the planet, and a way to get more exercise into my day, I bought a push mower the other day. And I did this even before watching AlGore’s international SaveThePlanetpalooza. I do find it funner than the electric mower. I really enjoy the sound of it, and it just feels more natural. I have been warned though, by Bitterkat’s better half that if the lawn gets to tall, the push mower won’t work. I witnessed that with the tall weeds in the front yard. So, need to mow the yard on a routine basis. Watching the propaganda from AlGore’s event, I wonder, what more can I do? I recycle, I take the bus to work, my woman is in a vanpool, I don’t water my lawn, I recycle & compost, I even have a push mower now.
I wonder how much AlGore is going to shift the presidential debate dynamic. Currently it seems the debate will be on Iraq and what to do with that cluster mess that we the American people are responsible for. Yes, all of us are responsible for it. Even if we didn’t vote for those that voted/supported/managed the Iraq 2 – the Sadam Smackdown. Why are we culpable you may ask? Well, it’s our government, they work for us. And just as if you are liable if your gardner cuts down your niehbor’s tree, or you are responsible if your teenager crashes your car….we don’t like it, but we gotta pay for the mess.
I have to say, from AlGore’s mega-gig-awareness-raiser,…learned something, Madonna can play guitar! It seems every year she has a new trick up her sleave. Once again, I’m impressed. I really enjoyed the live rocking version of “Ray of Light”…I’m sure you can find a copy of it online to watch. And, I gotta say, Madonna, in a black dress, playing a Gibson Les Paul is sexy.
The other night, I got my niece and nephew to help with yardwork. They did awesome. It started with a "who can pick more dandelions" contest.
...so, the babies were due a few days ago....
Luckily they showed early so we get to spend more time with them
(And thank the good Lord that they are doing well and are healthy, even though they were a month premature.)
I am a bit busy with them. Y'all probably noticed fewer than normal posts.
I am a bit tired, but I don't mind. It's the best reason for being tired that I have ever had.
They are doing what they are suppossed to do, poo, pee, sleep, eat, cry, burp.
It's funny, at this stage in their lives their "wants" and their "needs" are exactly the same. That is saint-like, or zen-like if ya think about it.
Unfortunately, their ability to communicate is not that good. Reminds me of when our good friend TS Eliot said
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it
I love watching them when they make faces, just going through facial expressions, a new expression every second, that someday they will need...sleepy, angry, curious, BillyIdol,...
I am very happy to be a papa. This has been the best one month and six days of my life.
Yes…I know I am quickly forgetting this as time marches on.
In the post-op room we got our first note for the family from our good friend IR. (Remember her? She helped transfer all of our stuff.)
Hope everything went great! Can’t wait to meet the “little” ones, and finally find out their names! J Feel free to give me a call any time if you want to share, but it’s OK to enjoy the time by yourselves too. Good luck new parents!
A nurse put both Unter & Uber in my arms and took the first photo of them with their papa. I was still in my scrubs, and smiling big. We got a photo of MBH with the babies on either side of her, and she giving the “thumbs up.”
The nursing staff asked if we had names yet for our little ones. No, we replied, we where waiting for the babies to decide what the wanted. After a bit, we would take a baby, hold them close, and ask them which of the names that they preferred. Either by rolling the eyes, or yawning (if the name was boring),…and what do you know, Unter chose “Unter” and Uber chose “Uber”!
The childrens were given their first baths.
OK, scary stuff. After things had calmed down, everyone checked, photos taken, babies poked, prodded and bathed, most of the nursing staff left. We were left with a single nurse. She was working with little Uber, who still had low blood sugar. This was demonstrated by lifting up his little arm, and it just flopped down when let go. Shit, I thought, because I know someone who works with “floppy babies” of a type of Muscular Dystrophy. They were saying low blood sugar, so that calmed me a bit. And also he was a bit jaundiced (which, I have to admit, I need to look up, because I don’t know enough about it to be concerned), couldn’t maintain a good body temperature, and he was wheezing (the nurses called it “singing”) when he breathed, because he still had fluid in his little lungs. I was holding Unter, watching the nurse work on my boy.
She then took a check on MyBetterHalf. I caught from the corner of my eye, there was a lot of blood on the bed sheets. The nurse called for help, which quickly came, she couldn’t work on a mother and a son at the same time. The cavalry were old pros and set us at ease. They had to press on MBH tummy to help with clots and uterus shrinking, and my wife was moaning in agony.
There was the helplessness feeling. Nothing I could do. Well, I guess I was holding our daughter, and that was important.
(One strange thing, they had a catheter bag for MBH. And she was filling it by the liter.)
By 4am we were in our post-partum room, where we would live from 4am Tuesday morning through about noonish on Friday. I say, it’s funny, but it seems that the babies got out of their mommy a lot quicker than they got out of the hospital. I swear, we told people at 9am we wanted to leave, and I think once we said that, they were like “not my patient anymore” and concentrated their energies on actual patients.
MBH has asked, how come I can swaddle them so well. It is because watched about a dozen nurses swaddle, each one using a different technique, and also, back in the day, I made a lot of burritos and egg rolls.